We take a look back at James Storm discussing what it means to be the World Champion and Bobby Roode’s win over Samoa Joe last week to earn a title shot on tonight’s episode of Impact Wrestling, and then we’re off to Macon, Georgia for our opening promo with World Champion James Storm. He talks about how growing up in the South was good for learning stuff about being a man and treating everybody with respect no matter what walk of life they come from. In the SOUTH?!?! Anyway, he also learned how to open doors for ladies (which gets the crowd chanting USA), and last night he was sitting around getting liquored up thinking about what he wants on his tombstone, and now he can add World Champion to the other stuff he came up with. Anyway, all these life experiences brought him here to Macon and the one man who’s been by his side the whole time has been his tag partner Bobby Roode, who now joins Storm in the ring.
Big chant for Roode, who gives Storm his “I’m going to turn heel on you tonight” smile, but an oblivious Storm says that Roode got screwed at Bound For Glory and promised him the first shot at the title, but also promised his little girl he’d bring the belt home so she could wear it at Chuck E. Cheese. Roode says he owes Storm for all the success he’s had because they were both struggling as singles wrestlers, but became an overnight success as a team and one of the greatest teams in the history of the business. Storm came up with the names, the merch ideas, and brought something out of Roode he couldn’t bring out on his own. Roode was the happiest man on the planet when Storm beat Kurt Angle, but he’s got another opportunity tonight and he’s damn sure going to bring it because he knows Storm will. Roode wants to do what they’ve been doing for four years, and that’s steal the show and blow the roof off this son of a bitch (I assume he means the arena), and whoever walks out with the title will be the better man.
Tonight, Jeff Jarrett & Bully Ray face Ken Anderson and Jeff Hardy (who gave Anderson a concussion and put him on the shelf for two months, but never mind that), and Ronnie from Jersey Shore will be here! Aren’t you just dying with excitement?
Let’s head to the ring for our opening match…
Knockouts Tag Team Title Match: Tara & Brooke Tessmacher vs Madison Rayne & Gail Kim
Karen Jarrett is still, inexplicably, in charge of the Knockouts division even though Immortal no longer holds any power in the company. Tara and Brooke’s outfits really bring out the patriotic spirit in me, I must say. Madison and Tessmacher start us off, and Brooke and Tara tag in and out while cranking on Madison’s arm. They give Madison a double gourdbuster, but Madison goes and tags out to Gail, who destroyed Tara last week, but Tara gets some revenge by unloading on her with clotheslines and a BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP. Madison tags back in, but Brooke again dominates her with clotheslines, and Gail yanks her off by the hair before she can do the stinkface. Gail with a hanging neckbreaker and then goes to a Dragon sleeper, then just palmstrikes Brooke in the face. I love the sadism, but easy on the face there. Brooke gets away and makes the hot tag to Tara, and she makes the moron move of turning her back to Tara to do the ass shaking standing moonsault and Gail blindsides her, but Brooke spears Gail out to the floor. Tara hits the Widow’s Peak, but Karen Jarrett jumps up on the apron and distracts the referee while Gail Kim come in and hits Tara with Sole Food, allowing Madison to crawl over and pin Tara.
Winners and NEW Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Gail Kim & Madison Rayne
Gail Kim is already a champion all of two weeks after returning to TV. Good for her!
Our newest main eventer, Garrett Bischoff, says that he knows his dad wants an apology, so he’s going to go out there and apologize to his dad tonight. YAY!
Garrett Bischoff comes out to agonize over the situation with his dad, and he wants his dad to come out so he can apologize face to face. Easy E comes out with his “I knew all those beatings as a kid would do him right” face on as we prepare to advance our top storyline. Garrett tells the old man he’s sorry he didn’t live up to his expectations and let him down at Bound For Glory, and he’s really, REALLY sorry he didn’t grow into the man he wanted him to be. (to which Eric replies “There’s always hope”) Garrett says the thing he’s really sorry about is that he didn’t do this years ago, and he suckerpunches his dad and drills him in the face until Ric Flair and Gunner come running out to make the save. Garrett looks really pleased with himself as hebacks up the ramp and his dad yells “HOW DARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH?” I assume he’s not referring to himself.
Samoa Joe comes up to Sting backstage and asks if he needs help with anything, then says he wants to show his appreciation for the shot he got last week. Sting says he’s welcome, but Joe says if he doesn’t get the respect he deserves, people around here have a way of getting hurt, and asks if Sting understands him. Sting says he’s got it and Joe leaves, and then Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair come up to Sting and says they made sure to have ironclad contracts so Sting couldn’t fire them, so now they want Garrett in the ring for a match and says that he’ll give him the right to rewrite his contract if he does. Sting proves himself the best wrestling administrator ever when he says he’ll talk it over with Garrett before making a decision.
Christopher Daniels is walking around backstage raving about his wins over AJ Styles that never happened and reiterates the trickery AJ tried using, and says that he won because he walked out and AJ didn’t. He wants shots at the TV Title and World Title (yes, really), and says he even beat RVD last week. RVD walks up behind him looking really pissed off as Daniels denies needing a screwdriver to beat Bob Van Dam, and then Daniels turns around and Bob kicks his ass until Daniels turns tail and runs, and RVD says he’ll see him at Turning Point.