We have a countdown to the reveal of 2/21/11 and we are under an hour. We are live from Fresno, California and your announcers are Michael ‘Call me Sharpie because I am marking stuff up’ Cole and Josh ‘On the Road to Wrestlemania, but does it go through Masarkytown, population Michael Cole’ Mathews.
The show starts off with the man who likes to eat cereal before his pay per view matches, and the current number one contender for the WWE Title, John Cena.
Cena points to the Wrestlemania sign, but it does not point back. John says what a day a few times and then he comments on the crowd. John points out that he won the Elimination Chamber last night and he is going to Wrestlemania to face the Miz for the WWE Title. He says that it should be a wonderful accomplishment filled with wine, women, and song. John says that he is going to Wrestlemania one more time.
He says that this isn’t a normal situation. He hasn’t been hearing about the Miz or the Elimination Chamber. The fans start chanting for the Rock. Cena says that he has been hearing about some alleged comments from the Rock. Cena says that people have been telling him that they are looking forward to hearing what he has to say. Cena says that he was going to let it slide because he is the Rock.
Cena says that we should look at the footage one more time and then decide what to do. We go to the video tape.
John says that maybe he was excited to see Rock last week, but after looking at it again, he was making fun of him. Cena suggests that he should respond to The Rock. Cena says that if he goes there and calls him out, there is only one way to do it.
Cena says that he hasn’t done it in a long time, but he says that he still has a degree in Thugamonics. Cena says that they have to do it tonight. He says that he has to send a message to the Rock or he won’t be able to focus on Miz and Wrestlemania.
Cena says that he is going to do this once.
Cena clears his throat to get into the right Thugamonic tone.
Finally the Rock came back and everyone was getting with it.
Till he said I was talking trash, but he was never specific.
It was because I wasn’t talking trash Rock, I was talking truth.
You left us hanging high and dry to play a fairy with a tooth.
And then you walk into this ring and say that I’m lame man?
He wore lipstick in Get Shorty and rocked a skirt for the Game Plan.
This Fruity Pebble that you are dealing with . . .
I’m not the average jabroni. < br> I’m like a big purple pinwheel so go ahead and blow me.
And you’re electrifying, yes.
But hang with me, that’s just absurd.
Now you gotta tell your family
That you got schooled by Barney’s turd.
Cena says that’s Rock material, you can have the joke back.
Just don’t go racing to Witch Mountain because your mountain is Brokeback.
The Rock’s new movie well, it’s nothing like Walking Tall.
He spends all movie in a bowling alley polishing my balls.
The People’s Champ, he’s never with the people.
Rock, you’re words are see through.
You imitate me every time you leave.
For seven years we couldn’t see you.
Is it Rock or is it Dwayne.
Pick a side come on son.
If I was you I would stick with Rock
Because Dwayne ain’t got a John. . . son.
You’ll see me at Wrestlemania.
Well then I’ll make sure not to miss it.
You ain’t gonna whip my candy ass.
I’ll make sure you kiss it.
You’re the Wrestlemania Host Rock.
That’s your role, so know it.
You tell these people you love em
I’m here every week to show em
That’s called a first round knockout and now you know I’m not playing.
Run your mouth all you want dude, it doesn’t matter what you’re saying.
Cena leaves the ring and walks to the back.
Cole and Josh talk about the interview that Cole is going to have with Jerry Lawler. Cole says that he is going to let bygones be bygones and assume his role as a broadcast journalist.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the Slam of the Week: CM Punk attacking John Morrison a few weeks ago on Raw.
Morrison walks gingerly to the ring for his match but he can still pose in slow motion.
Punk takes his time walking to the ring, but is he simply mocking Morrison or is he showing the effects of last night’s match.
We see photos from last night’s Chamber Match and Punk’s leg.
Match Number One: CM Punk versus John Morrison
Morrison with a front face lock and punches to Punk and the referee warns Morrison. Morrison with a European uppercut but Punk pulls Morrison to the apron and then slams the knee into the apron. Punk with a shoulder into the knee and then he stretches the leg. The referee pulls Punk off Morrison. Punk with a drop kick to the thigh and then he punches Morrison in the head. Punk gets a near fall and then he goes for the ankle and puts him in the Haas of Pain. Morrison gets to the ropes and the referee forces Punk to release the hold.
Morrison with a knee and punches. Morrison mounts Punk and continues with a flurry of punches. Morrison tries for the Shining Wizard but Punk with a kick to the knee. Punk hits the Go To Sleep and gets the three count.
Winner: CM Punk
After the match, CM Punk demands a microphone to address the crowd.
Punk calls out Randall Keith Orton and wants to know where he is. Punk says that he is standing in the middle of his ring and he has decided to give his Nexus the night off. Punk promises Orton that this is not a set up. Punk says that people make decisions that affect other people’s lives day in and day out. These people decided to buy a ticket to see him.
On September 7, 2008, Randall decided to punt him in the skull. It rendered him unable to defend his World Title. A few twists and turns aside and it leads them to today. Now Randall has the most important decision of his life to make. The bright lights of Wrestlemania are not in his future. Just walk away. Punk says that Orton does not deserve to be at Wrestlemania. It is either because he is too crippled to compete because he finished what Orton started. Or he is not going because he cares about his physical well being. That will be the case if he shows up next week. He tells Randall to walk away. If he shows up next week, he will turn him upside down and pour his heart out on the mat.
Randy Orton comes through the crowd and he attacks CM Punk. Orton tries for the RKO but Punk gets out of the ring and crawls to safety on the ramp.
Nexus comes out to be the Berlin Wall for CM Punk.
We have a stare down as we go to commercial.
We are back and Did You Know that a lot of autographs will be signed during Wrestlemania Axxess?
Ricardo Rodriguez is in the ring so that means that Alberto Del Rio is about to drive into the building, but you already knew that.
Kofi Kingston attacks Alberto from behind and he punches him on the ramp. Ricardo tries to get involved but the referee takes care of him.
Del Rio hits Kofi and sends Kofi’s arm into the ring steps and apron. Del Rio kicks Kofi against the ring post. Alberto sends Kofi’s arm into the ringside barrier. Del Rio takes off the bandage on Kofi’s arm and Del Rio puts Kofi in the cross arm breaker.
The medical staff checks on Kofi but Del Rio sends Kofi into the ring post one more time.
Miz and Alex Riley are walking in the back as we go to commercial.
We are back and the Miz comes out. He says that last week everyone embarrassed themselves. He saw grown men leaping up and down like little girls over a man. That man was the Rock. Miz says that back in 1999, he remembered sitting in his dad’s living room electrify. He watched him rip his opponents verbally. Miz says that he enjoyed hearing Rock mention his name. Then he heard Rock say that he sucks. Really? Is that the best that the Rock can do? The best talker in sports entertainment says that he sucked. He says that he heard kindergartners come back with better insults. Miz says that he is hurt to hear that the fans think he sucks. He will look at his tears in his title belt. While Rock hosts Wrestlemania, he will be beating John Cena.
Miz says that John Cena and Rock have one thing in common. They are cultural icons and everyone love them for that. Miz says that he does not care what people have to say about him. He wants to take this one step further. . .
IT DOESN’T MATTER what you people think because he is the most must see champion and he asks if everyone sees him. Miz says that he is AWESOME.
Something that isn’t awesome makes its presence known and the General Manager summons Cole to Mount Markov.
Enough about the Rock. He will deal with him when he is ready. Since the Rock and Sock connection was a formidable tag team, the World Tag Titles will be defended against Miz and his partner, John Cena.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a look at the WWE All Stars Game and we see George Washington versus Abraham Washington in a match with a run in by John Cena.
We see what happened last week between Eve Torres and the Bellas only to be interrupted by Gail Kim.
Match Number Two: Bella Twins versus Eve Torres and Gail Kim
Gail and Brie start things off and Gail sends her to the floor. Gail goes after Brie but Nikki knocks Gail down. Eve takes care of Nikki and then Gail returns Brie to the ring. Gail with a punch and kick followed by an Irish whip and punch into the corner. Gail with a cross body out of the corner for a near fall. Gail punches Brie and then hits a cross body into the corner. Nikki pulls Gail to the floor when she tries for a springboard move. Brie sends Gail into the apron and then she kicks Gail. Brie misses a leg drop and Eve tags in and hits a drop kick.
Eve with a cross body to Nikki and she gets a near fall. Eve with a few kicks followed by a clothesline and then she hits a standing moonsault but Eve gets up when she sees Brie come into the ring. Nikki gets rolled up but Brie with an inside cradle for the three count.
Winners: The Bella Twins
We are back and we are less than 30 seconds to finding out who is in the rainy cabin.
It is time to find out who or what it is and . . .
It’s the Undertaker.
If you didn’t realize it, we hear the gong. The SYMBOL is in the ring as Taker makes his way down the ramp.
Taker removes his hat and it is still him.
Not to be outdone, it is Game Time as Triple H makes his way into the arena and he has his bottle of water for the almost year long GameFountain drought. Hunter does not disappoint with a GameFountain for the ages.
Triple H stares at a motionless Undertaker and then he poses on the turnbuckles.
The music stops and the fans appear to be happier that Triple H is there than Undertaker.
We have a stare down for the ages and not a word is uttered between the two men.
We see a camera angle of the Wrestlemania sign in the background and they both stare at the sign. Is this foreshadowing something? Do they like big shiny signs with lots of colors?
Taker puts his hat back on and walks away. He stops halfway across the ring and then he returns to Hunter and does the throat slash.
Triple H decides to return volley with a crotch chop and it is on.
Taker’s lip starts to quiver while Hunter stares a hole through the man who retired his DX partner.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a moments ago moment of the most verbose promo in the history of Raw.
We take a look at the brutal attack by Sheamus on Mark Henry.
Match Number Three: Sheamus versus Mark Henry
Henry misses a punch and Sheamus punches Henry. Henry with a bear hug and then he throws Sheamus over the top rope to the floor. Henry goes after Sheamus and he head butts Sheamus and then returns Sheamus to the ring. Sheamus begs for mercy fella and then he kicks Henry in the leg. Sheamus escapes a slam attempt and he clips Henry and follows it with a forearm for a near fall. Sheamus with knees to Henry followed by forearms. Sheamus chokes Henry in the ropes.
Sheamus with forearms across the chest and then he kicks Henry in the chest. Sheamus with a slingshot shoulder tackle for a near fall. Sheamus with a knee drop to Henry’s head and then he puts Henry in a rear chin lock. Henry backs Sheamus into the turnbuckles after he gets Sheamus on his back. Henry with clotheslines and a head butt. Sheamus with a kick but Henry with another clothesline. Henry misses the splash and Sheamus with a boot to the chest and then he signals for the High Cross or something else. Sheamus exposes the turnbuckle while the referee checks on Henry. Henry splashes Sheamus into the turnbuckle and Henry with the World’s Strongest Slam for the three count.
Winner: Mark Henry
We are back and we are reminded that Rima Fakih (Miss USA) is going to be on Tough Enough, debuting after Mania
Daniel Bryan is with Gail Kim and he says that it is okay that she lost.
Sheamus comes by and asks what is so funny. He threatens to rip off Bryan’s head and then Bryan and Sheamus stare each other down until Sheamus leaves.
It is now time to talk about the Hall of Fame. Who will join Shawn Michaels in the Hall of Fame this year?
Hacksaw Jim Duggan is your next Hall of Famer.
Jim Duggan will be inducted by his fellow UWF alumnus Ted DiBiase.
Michael Cole enters the ring and he says that in a few moments he will be interviewing Jerry Lawler. Cole says that some might think that they will fight, but it won’t happen because if they touch, they will be fired. Cole says that he will handle this interview as the broadcast journalist he is. He says that he is better than Gordon Solie ever was. He is better than Gorilla Monsoon, and better than Jim Ross. Cole says that he is better than Jerry Lawler. Cole says that he is a war correspondent and he will put those skills on display when he interviews Jerry Lawler.
We go to commercial while Cole genuflects in front of his accomplishments.
We are back and the crowd tells Cole that he sucks before Cole introduces Jerry Lawler.
Cole says that it has been a rough 24 hours for Jerry so he wants to ask Jerry what it was like to get ready for his WWE title match on Sunday knowing that he had a chance to go to Wrestlemania. Did he have butterflies or was he nervous.
Jerry takes a page out of the Triple H and Undertaker playbook and he says nothing.
Cole asks Lawler how it felt to realize that his dreams were going to be shattered when he was going to lose to the most must see Champion the Miz. Did Jerry finally think that it was time to retire and that Cole was right and that he would hang up his boots for good.
Lawler says even less this time.
Cole asks Jerry what it felt like when the referee made the three count when he was staring at the lights and into the heavens when he realized that his deceased mother . . . no disrespect. . . and when his Wrestlemania dreams were ended and he let his mother down.
Lawler thinks about it and he grabs Cole by the throat and Cole has a very scared look on his face.
Lawler tells Cole that if he mentions his mother again, he will never speak again. Lawler says that he has been sitting there listening to Cole and his thumbsuckers. Lawler says that he has forgotten more than they will ever know. Lawler says that he will be at Wrestlemania and he doesn’t care if it gets him fired. He is going to make a Wrestlemania challenge. He wants to face Michael Cole. Lawler wants to know if Cole will accept the challenge. Cole is at a loss for words before he calls Lawler senile and he says that he will never get him in the ring again. Lawler tells Cole to be a man and accept the challenge. He wants to know if Cole is a man or a gutless, yellow coward.
Cole takes off his jacket and he throws a drink in Lawler’s face. Cole runs away from Lawler and then he goes to the back.
The Corre is walking in the back because they are Smackdown Superstars (even though two are the Tag Champs) and we go to commercial.
e are back with a Moments Ago Moment of Michael Cole emptying his beverage in Jerry Lawler’s face only to run like a girl (Josh’s words).
Jerry says that he is waiting for Cole to come back to ringside so he will join Josh to do commentary for this match.
Match Number Four: Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel with Ezekiel Jackson and Wade Barrett versus John Cena and Miz with Alex Riley and the Mongo McMichael Memorial briefcase for the WWE Tag Titles
Miz and Slater start things off and Miz with a waist lock take down but Slater escapes and works on the arm. Miz with an arm drag to Slater followed by an arm drag into an arm bar. Miz works on the arm and puts Slater in a hammer lock but Slater with an elbow. Miz with an elbow of his own followed by a kick to the head and Cena applauds his partner’s work after a near fall.
Slater with punches and then he tags in Gabriel who gets a drop toe hold from Miz. Miz punches Gabriel. Miz with a front face lock and Cena tags in. Cena sends Gabriel into the turnbuckles followed by an Irish whip and bulldog for a near fall. Gabriel with a kick but Cena with a punch. Cena with a suplex to Gabriel.
Miz punches Gabriel after tagging back in. Miz with an Irish whip and then he hits the Awesome Clothesline. Miz with the Skull Crushing Finale for the three count.
Winners: Miz and John Cena
After the match, Awesome Fruity Pebbles with a side of DUI celebrate in the ring.
Meanwhile on the floor, Corre have a discussion about what just happened. Wade Barrett stops the celebration and they are going to invoke their rematch clause and it is going to happen right now.
Before the match, the General Messenger makes its presence known and Josh Mathews assumes the position. It says to ring the bell.
We go to commercial.